They might. But they almost certainly won’t.

My apologies. The hot-stove season is getting to my head.

I’ve just been made aware of this wonderful news:

Apparently IFC is showing two episodes of Arrested Development every Tuesday night.

DVR set.

Arrested Development, if you’re unfamiliar, is the best thing that’s ever been on TV. I know the popular thing among people with good taste is to say it’s The Wire, and I absolutely loved The Wire and think it’s almost certainly the second best thing to ever be on TV.

But Arrested Development is a special, special show. It’s like what would happen if James Joyce wrote a sitcom, only more comprehensible. Honestly, watch it tonight and pay attention: Every detail matters. Every joke is funny in isolation and in the larger context of the show. If you don’t laugh in every scene, you’re almost certainly missing something.

It’s downright perfect. All the performances are stellar, the pace is right, everything.

The second episode IFC airs tonight will be “Pier Pressure,” arguably the masterpiece in a series chock full of masterpieces.

I took a screenwriting class once and the teacher told us he kept two scripts at his desk. I forget which they were, but one was to remind him that there were produced screenplays that he was capable of writing to keep him confident, and one to remind him that there were screenplays he was incapable of writing to keep him working to get better.

Arrested Development is that second thing. But it’s so tightly crafted, so overwhelmingly well-planned, that it’s way more depressing than it is intimidating. No one could ever hope to create anything so awesome.

We’re still better off for its having been made, though.

The NL MVP Award voting is back, and Albert Pujols is the deserving winner.

One interesting note:

Someone thought Miguel Tejada was the eighth most valuable player in the National League last year.

Huh?

If you wanted to argue Tejada was the eighth most valuable shortstop in the National League last year you’d have a strong case.

Tejada posted a .795 OPS while playing a below-average defense for the 74-88 Astros in 2009.

Reading about Stanford runningback, Heisman hopeful and MLB prospect Toby Gerhart in the Times last week made me think about Bo Jackson, for obvious reasons.

I was six years old when Bo Jackson first joined the Raiders, but I was head over heels for baseball by then and starting to grasp football, so I recognized that it was cool.

I guess, naive as I must have been then, I didn’t really think about how crazy that was.

In 1989 and 1990, Bo Jackson totaled 60 home runs, 41 steals and a 132 Major League OPS+. In those same years, he combined for nearly 1800 yards from scrimmage with 9 touchdowns and 5.5 yards per carry.

Then Deion Sanders, just a couple of years later, posted a 130 OPS+ with the Braves in the same year he picked up over 1000 return yards for the Falcons.

To be honest, I didn’t remember Neon Deion being any good at baseball. His baseball career seemed like a gimmick, and so I was surprised to learn he was actually a decent player for a couple of seasons.

Jackson, though, was different. Bo Jackson was a star in two professional sports at the same time. Again: Bo Jackson was a star in two professional sports at the same time.

That’s nuts. It’s so hard to imagine nowadays, in an age of such advanced specialty workouts and everything else.

And maybe it shouldn’t be surprising that Jackson got that terrible hip injury and flamed out so quickly.

But man, Bo Jackson was a stud.

I read his autobiography, Bo Knows Bo, pretty soon after it came out. It dealt with a bit with his childhood and a whole lot, if I recall correctly, with his college sex life. I was nine. I think the entire time I was reading it, I was thinking, “I obviously shouldn’t be reading this.”

Here’s what the Mets’ new uniforms will look like, courtesy of Matt Cerrone:

Color me underwhelmed. If they are going to go old-school, why include the black dropshadow, as Cerrone points out?

Also, and moreover, I’m just not a huge fan of making new things intended to look old.

And why choose to honor one era in the team’s history over another? Would it have been similarly “retro” if the Mets went with their 1986 racing stripes or the ridiculous white hats they briefly busted out in the mid-90s?

For that matter, how about a throwback Mercury Mets jersey to celebrate that one magical day?

I like the pinstripes, though. Pinstripes are still cool.

I have spent — maybe wasted — thousands upon thousands of words advocating for the Mets to give a Major League opportunity to one of any number of Triple-A mashers with nothing left to prove in the Minors.

And nearly every time I do that, someone in an email or a comments section or message board somewhere will respond with the same arguments:

If this guy’s so good, why hasn’t any team given him a chance? If he’s really a Major Leaguer, why do teams keep letting him go?

I have no answer. Sometimes it just doesn’t work out.

Case in point: Nelson Cruz became a Flushing Fussing favorite during Spring Training 2008 when I was certain the Mets needed an extra right-handed power bat to replace Moises Alou when he inevitably got hurt.

I have no idea what the Rangers would have wanted for Cruz at the time, nor did I claim to. But Cruz had, to that point, spent 442 Major League at-bats not hitting like a capable Major League outfielder and appeared buried in Triple-A Oklahoma.

So I suggested (twice) that the Mets inquire about Cruz, and for all I know they did. That’s not the point here.

My point is that sometimes even 442 at-bats across a few seasons is not long enough for a player to adjust to the Major League level, and usually, when a guy mashes the crap out of the ball in Triple-A, he can be expected to eventually continue doing so in the bigs.

Because now everyone wants Nelson Cruz, apparently.

You know Cruz. He’s the same guy the Mets traded for Jorge Velandia and the A’s traded for Keith Ginter and the Brewers packaged with Carlos Lee for Francisco Cordero, Laynce Nix and Kevin Mench.

So he’s a pitch-perfect example of a player some would say three different teams “passed over,” who made it to age 27 without big-league success, and who still, it turned out, could contribute to a Major League club.

So with that in mind, check out Meddler’s Rule 5 draft preview at Amazin’ Avenue. The Mets are the first team in the Rule 5 draft that currently has openings on its 40-man roster, so they should have their pick of this litter.

A “rogue hacker,” to quote the Jets’ press release, broke into David Clowney’s Twitter account and talked trash to fans. No word on why a rogue hacker wouldn’t pick someone more notable.

Lawrence Frank is quietly the longest-tenured coach in New York sports. Probably not for long.

Taco Bell and 50 Cent have squashed their beef. Phew.

Tim Brown of Yahoo! Sports ominously reports that the Mets have “called on Russell Branyan.” I’m not certain he’s the best pickup for the Mets, but I’ve long been a fan of the Grand Branyan. Depends on the price tag and whether he can still adequately defend the outfield corners, I think.

American mustache hero Keith Hernandez will reportedly return to the SNY booth.