Today is Albert Pujols’ 30th birthday.

Before his 30th birthday, Albert Pujols hit 366 Major League home runs. In his twenties, he posted a .334 batting average with a .427 on-base percentage and a .628 slugging. His 1.055 OPS is fourth all-time, behind Babe Ruth, Ted Williams and Lou Gehrig.

Albert Pujols’ Wikipedia page, as I’ve written before, reads like a list of Chuck Norris facts. In his first college game, Albert Pujols hit a grand slam and turned an unassisted triple play.

So happy birthday, Mr. El Hombre. I’m told 30 is a particularly rough one — I’ll find out myself in a year and six days — and I recommend taking it out on opposing pitchers. For now, enjoy a birthday meal of some shrimp tacos or pork chops and revel in your own awesomeness.