Death of a Web series

The last-ever episode of The Nooner went up today on SNY.tv.

For a variety of reasons, I can’t quibble with the decision to pull the plug on the show, but I still find it a bit sad.

It’s sad because I spent about the first two hours of every workday for the past 22 months writing jokes for the show, and that’s a whole lot of energy to invest in anything. And getting paid to write comedy has long been a dream of mine, and since writing for The Nooner became part of the job for which I’m salaried, I was able to convince myself that I was, indeed, paid to write jokes.

And it’s sad because we had such high hopes at the start, and I fear we failed on them at least partly because too often the show wasn’t funny enough.

I wrote it in conjunction with Jeff, the show’s producer, and though I’m certain we came up with a good deal of actually funny jokes over the nearly two-year run, it was really, really hard to churn out three minutes a day of entertaining material every single day given how little time we had to create it and the limitations on our content created by this network’s (totally reasonable) standards on decency.

Jeff insists the show worked to a point, and that the fact that it ran for nearly two years and had sponsors for most of that time means it was a success. He’s probably right. It was something good that ran its course, I guess.

But the process grew increasingly tiresome as it became clear that the show was not blowing up like we hoped it would. We found ourselves repeating material a ton, which is a cardinal sin in comedy writing. We wrote so many damn fat jokes about Eddy Curry, then CC Sabathia, then Rex Ryan, then Bengie Molina.

Brittany Umar, the host of the show, was awesome throughout. I don’t know that she had much of a background in comedy before she started working with us, but she picked it up amazingly quick. She’s also incredible at reading a teleprompter, which I can attest is much harder than it looks. Plus she put up with so much of our nonsense, and was game for absolutely everything we asked her to do on camera.

Anyway, the upside to the show’s departure is that the extra couple hours every day should benefit readers of this blog, since I should have a lot more time to think and process what to write in this space. I’m excited about that.

It’s just a little depressing to see a lot of hard work just sort of drift off into cyberspace.


Something to make Mets fans feel better

James Kannengieser reacted to some news out of San Francisco that outfielder Fred Lewis could get cut by the Giants with a nice post to Amazin’ Avenue about how Lewis would be a nice upgrade in the Mets’ outfield.

It’s true, and I agree with James, so read his post.

But since I couldn’t figure out why the Giants would cut a player like Lewis, I figured I’d catch up with official TedQuarters San Francisco insider Dailey McDailey for more insight.

Or maybe I just opted to publish a partial transcript of our online discussion. Here it is:

TedQuarters: Word is the Giants are going to straight-up cut Fred Lewis.

Dailey McDailey Honestly, I’d rather he be on a team that would let him play. Bruce Bochy will never give him a chance.

TQ: Bochy doesn’t like him?

DM: Bochy only likes old catchers.

TQ: That makes sense. But aren’t they going to carry like six people significantly worse than Fred Lewis?

DM: More like 10. He was No. 2 on the team in OBP last year. But Andres Torres is a “real” lead off hitter. Eugenio Velez had three good weeks. But he can’t play defense either, because he’s a second baseman. I hate my team. I’d like to [deleted for decency] Brian Sabean, [deleted for decency].

TQ: So their plan to upgrade their offense was to part ways with the guy who was second on the team in OBP last year?

DM: Then [deleted for decency] Bochy’s face. Nobody in the Giants front office knows what OBP is. They know batting average, which doesn’t apply to Molina, because he’s clutch.

TQ: Makes sense.

DM: It’s a team run by old sportswriters, and it makes me want to die.

TQ: It makes me feel better about the Mets, if that means anything to you.

DM: It doesn’t. The Mets have won a world series in your lifetime.

TQ: Yeah, but I only barely remember it.

DM: I remember losing to the trashy team from across the bay because a [expletive] earthquake leveled the city, and then losing to the trashy team from down the state because our manager wouldn’t let our best pitcher go in Game 7. Then I remember pissing away the prime of the best player ever. Then I remember pissing away the prime of the best pitching combination to come up together since Koufax and Drysdale.

TQ: Life is good, huh?

DM: We had one owner retire and another die, and Sabean still survives. WHO IS BACKING HIM? I WANT ANSWERS!

TQ: Can I publish portions of this conversation, tastefully deleting but alluding to the parts where you say what you’d do to Sabean and Bochy?

DM: You can publish every word if you want.

One more quick thing, then I’ll shut up

Adam Rubin reports that Jerry Manuel “appears to prefer” going with 20-year-old Ruben Tejada over Alex Cora in Jose Reyes’ stead.

Though Rubin’s usually on top of these things, it’s just a report and so I don’t want to overreact. And I’m bored of killing Omar Minaya for signing Alex Cora to the deal he did when he did.

But if that’s true, that means that this offseason, coming off a season in which their starting shortstop got hurt, the Mets signed a backup shortstop that their own manager was not comfortable starting if their starting shortstop got hurt.

One more time: If that’s true, that means that this offseason, coming off a season in which their starting shortstop got hurt, the Mets signed a backup shortstop that their own manager was not comfortable starting if their starting shortstop got hurt.

I suppose that’s slightly overstating the case. For all I know, Manuel’s perfectly comfortable starting Cora and just happens to think Tejada’s great.

That’s a stretch, though, considering Tejada didn’t exactly light the world on first at Double-A last year, and he’s 20, and…

You know what? Screw it. No more on the Great Alex Cora Debate until the season starts, I promise. I’m certain you’ve already made up your mind on the matter anyway.

Stop everything

Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap.

Look at Mark Sanchez:

This is from some Samsung event showing off new 3-D TVs, apparently. That’s what the glasses are about.

The burgeoning handlebar mustache, though, is all Sanchez.

!!!!!!!

I’m speechless. This might be the best day of my life.

The quarterback… OF THE FUTURE.

Items of note

The Mets signed skinny lefty Mike O’Connor to a Minor League deal. I’ve always had a soft spot in my heart for him since he tossed a great start against the Mets in his second career outing in 2006. Probably an organizational depth signing, though.

One of the world’s leading crocodile and alligator experts died, but not in the way you’d guess. Sad.

The Big East Tournament has been predictably nuts, and Brendon Desrochers is holding it down.

Alex Nelson remembers Pete Schourek. I remember that Pete Schourek spoke at my Little League dinner and totally threw David Cone under the bus. I think he might have even called him a pervert. It was weird, and my memory is hazy because I was 12 or something, but I’ll consult my dad.