“If Amar’e is really Jewish then there is only one way to prove it.”

The payoff?

“We’ll guarantee Amar’e a lifetime supply of Gold’s Horseradish (red, white or extra hot cream style) for him and his family,” Gold said.

Gold said he’ll also donate ten cases of Gold’s condiments, including its mustard products, to a charity or food bank of Stoudemire’s choice for every Knicks win for the next two seasons. And Gold says he’ll step it up for the playoffs, which the team hasn’t played in since the 2003-04 season.

- Darren Rovell, CNBC SportsBiz.

Oh man. Oh man, oh man, oh man. First of all, good luck with that, Amar’e. I could go either way on horseradish but I’ve never found it too difficult to palate. I imagine a gallon of it is pretty pungent though.

But hey, if you can handle it: FREE HORSERADISH FOR LIFE! I don’t even know if I want that after all those horseradish-related challenges. Plus I’m not certain I’ve ever even purchased horseradish. Of course, I’m not Jewish.

My favorite part of this, though, is that Gold’s is stepping up and donating mustard to the charity of Stoudemire’s choice. Because first off, it’s a condiment. It is by it’s nature extraneous — albeit delicious.

It’s not like they’re donating something with a ton of nutritional value that’s going to help food banks provide for more people. Just mustard, to make the people’s food a little tastier. Which is noble, don’t get me wrong. Just funny.

Also, it would be particularly funny if Stoudemire completed the challenge and chose a charity that was not a food bank, like the Sierra Club or one dedicated to cancer research. And I bet there are plenty of good people working at all those charities who would appreciate tons of mustard.

- ESPN’s Chris Broussard, Twitter.

Wait a minute: What?

Look, I don’t know much about operating an NBA basketball team. In fact, there’s really only thing I’m downright certain of: Never, ever let Isiah Thomas anywhere near the controls.

And it’s not about the sexual-harassment lawsuit that cost the Knicks $11.6 million or even the time he overdosed on sleeping pills and then threw his 17-year-old daughter under the bus. I mean, yeah, those are two reasons I’d probably be leery of hiring the guy, but I’m not one for sweeping moral judgments.

I mean, holy crap, they JUST unburied themselves from all the damage the guy did while he was in charge.

If it’s not New York, why make the announcement here when he dragged everyone to Akron for the pitches? He could have stayed there and maintained an illusion of neutrality.

- Michael Salfino, SNY.tv.

Salfino makes a series of reasonable points here arguing why LeBron James will inevitably end up with the Knicks. The location, he points out, is as close to New York as you can be without being in New York. The recent talk that he’s going to Miami? Salfino argues that it’s misdirection from James’ camp to build suspense around the announcement.

I don’t know. I’d say I don’t care, but that’s not entirely true. I will care if he comes to New York. That would be cool.

I won’t watch the thing tonight — there’s baseball on. Real sporting events should always take precedence over announcements about future sporting events, I think. I’m sure I’ll find out where LeBron’s heading within five minutes of the announcement, and I won’t have to sit through however many minutes of hype-machine nonsense before it.

But that said, I’m a little surprised by how much backlash there has been to the news that LeBron would announce his decision in this fashion, on ESPN. I mean, how’d you expect it to be? It’s entertainment. LeBron James is a professional basketball player. And yet this particular instance of showmanship and spectacle makes a mockery of the game?

C’mon. Maybe the league-wide disregard for traveling violations makes a mockery of the game, or the gambling officials do. But a player maximizing his time in the spotlight is only that.

But the biggest reason why it’s the best basketball decision for James to come to New York is Curry — the secret weapon. He comes off the books after this year. So he can be traded at any point to a team seeking future cap relief or let go in June to create more cap room for next year’s free-agent class. New York would have almost enough for another max contract. Most importantly, he protects James from a change in the collective bargaining agreement that creates a hard cap. James knows that the Knicks will go over the cap if nothing changes. But only the Knicks from among all his suitors can also stay within the cap to get a third big player (or fourth if you count Danilo Gallinari).

- Michael Salfino, SNY.tv.

The NBA free agency hype has grown so monstrous that I’ve sort of stopped paying attention, but Mike makes the most comprehensive case I’ve yet seen for why LeBron James should and will end up a Knick.

Also, it’s hilarious that anyone besides Isiah Thomas and Greenburgh-area fast food restaurants might consider Eddy Curry “the secret weapon,” but it’s a good point.

And furthermore, the Greenburgh area could use a lot more variety in its fast food restaurants. McDonald’s, Wendy’s and Burger King? What is this, 1989?

So, it should come as no surprise that LeBron James(notes) has a sandwich named after him. He’s hugely famous, he’s marketable and the world could always use another delicious sandwich. Well, the Carnegie Deli — one of New York’s legendary sandwich shops — made the “LeBron MVP,” a five pound hunk of turkey, pastrami, corned beef, brisket, cheese, lettuce and tomato on rye that goes for $19.95.

- Trey Kirby, Ball Don’t Lie.

Don’t insult me, Carnegie Deli. Here on SandwichQuarters.net we know better than to be impressed by sandwiches notable only for their ridiculous size. And this is pretty ridiculous:

Look: I get the appeal of the famous old-timey New York deli. I’ve been to Carnegie and Katz’s and they made for enjoyable outings. But they’re selling the emperor’s new clothes. Everyone needs to come clean: the sandwiches aren’t that good.

I hate to admit that there’s such a thing as “too much meat,” but in some contexts, it happens. Just piling tons and tons of meat on a sandwich does not make it a good one. Remember what I said yesterday? It’s about proportions. Does anyone want just a mouthful of undressed, uncheesed, unbreaded sliced corned beef?

Well, yes, but it’s not as good as the perfect bite of some combination of meats, cheeses, vegetables, dressings and bread that make for a truly great sandwich. If LeBron James is a man of distinguishing sandwich taste, that monstrosity will do nothing to woo him.

It ain’t an easy thing, winning a championship, so … don’t think it’s going to come any easier. What, he’s 25? Come on, now! Who says he has to win a championship?

Whatever happened to try harder, the old Avis slogan? Try harder!

I think LeBron James is the best thing to ever happen to basketball. Not because of his game. Because of his attitude. We need more dudes in rap who really care about the history.

I love LeBron James’ attitude. I love his sense of history. And I love what he means to Ohio and Cleveland. My thing is, just try harder.

- Chuck D, as told to the Cleveland Plain-Dealer.

Chuck D’s right, you know. Chuck D is almost always right. Winning a championship is hard and will be hard no matter where LeBron James goes. But, you know, I don’t entirely see why that means he shouldn’t come to New York and try harder here.

Hat tip to Can’t Stop the Bleeding for the link.

Hat tip to Chuck D, just because.

Unbeknownst to Damon, his befuddled performance was thoroughly enjoyed by Ewing, who watched the actor with a big smile “because he knew Damon was lost.” After a couple of laps around the restaurant, our source says, Damon finally realized his friends were in Philippe’s private cellar.

- Gatecrasher, N.Y. Daily News.

All my nightmares end with Patrick Ewing pointing at me and laughing.

Walsh has worked tirelessly to dig the team out from the under the giant stinking pile of muck Isiah Thomas dumped all over it in his epically terrible tenure.

Today, Walsh pulled off a three-team deal to ensure that the Knicks will be able to sign two max free-agents this offseason, when, among others, LeBron James, Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade hit the open market. He had to give up a couple draft picks and Jordan Hill to do it, but it was, as Marlo Stanfield might put it, “some Spiderman s@#!.”

It strikes me that, only a few paragraphs deep in this post, I’ve already referenced two of the greatest television shows of all time. It wasn’t intentional, but maybe it had something to do with the subconscious knowledge that the Knicks, for the past several years, have been nearly unwatchable.

So as only a casual fan of the team and, hell, the entire professional game, maybe the allusions to Arrested Development and The Wire signify my hope that next year’s Knicks — with LeBron and Bosh or LeBron and whoever — could become the type of programming so transfixing, so transcendently awesome that I feel the need to watch and rewatch every moment, like I once did those shows.

And it could happen. If it all goes down according to Walsh’s plan, it’s entirely likely.

The fear, of course, is that it won’t. That King James will stay put in Cleveland and Walsh will be left with some lesser free-agent haul and egg all over his face.

The thing is, Walsh — with the way he’s gone about eradicating the detritus of Isiah’s amazing orgy of suckitude — should by now have earned enough faith from the Knicks’ fanbase for it to assume he’ll do well with the cap space he’s fought for since the day he took the reins.

So the Knicks’ deadline deals — to this partial but somewhat distanced observer, at least –  don’t say “LeBron or bust,” as much as they say “tabula rasa.” Walsh will enter the offseason with a clean slate and a ton of flexibility to mold the team in his and Mike D’Antoni’s image, and only Eddy Curry left to show for the Isiah Thomas Era.

Of course, building a good team is a lot different than dismantling a crappy one, and it remains to be seen if Walsh is nearly as good at the former as he is at the latter.

Put me down for bullish, though. At the very least, I’m guessing he’ll be better than Isiah.

Nate Robinson thanks you, XBox Live community.