Category Archives: Nets
David Stern referred to the recent breakdown in NBA labor negotiations as “the nuclear winter of the NBA.” Let’s see how it stacks up to the real thing:
| NBA Nuclear Winter | Actual Nuclear Winter | |
|---|---|---|
| Refers to | A season without NBA basketball | The atmospheric consequences of nuclear war |
| Causes | Impasse in negotiations between players’ union and owners | Dense smoke from nuclear explosions and burning urban areas rising into the stratosphere, blocking out the sun and prompting drastic drops in surface temperatures for years |
| Most noticeable effect | #LockoutLife | All agriculture becomes impossible for over a decade |
| Understated repercussion | Thousands of arena workers lose jobs in poor economy | Viggo Mortensen, blinded by desperation, steals Omar’s clothes |
| Most unfortunate consequence | Possible North American Tour for J.D. and the Straight Shot | Everyone on the planet starves to death and dies |
Over at Amazin’ Avenue, James Kannengieser turns to right field in his position-by-position look back at the 2011 Mets season, featuring this photo of Carlos Beltran demonstrating exactly how he feels about the few remaining fans unappreciative of his awesomeness:
Thanks to everyone who tipped me off on this one. From the Daily News:
That’s the Carnegie Deli’s creation of salami, corned beef, pastrami, bacon, lettuce, tomato and Russian dressing on something like six pieces of rye, if you’re playing at home. Presumably, these elements somehow capture the essence of Carmelo Anthony. And credit the Carnegie Deli: Last night I caught a highlight of ‘Melo nailing a pretty 18-foot fadeaway, and it really made me think of pastrami.
Since you’ve asked: I probably won’t eat that sandwich. I understand it’s all the rage right now and it represents the rare intersection of sandwiches and sports (outside of this blog, of course), but that’s not really an edible sandwich you see above. That’s like six vaguely edible sandwiches. And sure, you could go in with three friends and ask for extra rye and deconstruct the sandwich so you all get reasonable portions of all the ingredients. I get that. But that’s like cheating on behalf of the place you’re paying $22 for a sandwich.
Look: I appreciate the Carnegie Deli for all it has done for lunchmeats and celebrities through the years, but there’s no art to piling up all the meats in the house sky high and naming it after the city’s newest famous sports hero. That’s gimmickry. Amateur hour.
I, for one, would like to eat a carefully constructed sandwich that evokes the understated elegance of Carlos Beltran at his best, or a burrito that embodies the transcendent dominance of Darrelle Revis.
Who will make me Revis: The Burrito? Not the heavy-handed vulgarians responsible for the Carmelo Anthony sandwich, that’s for sure.
Hat tip to Alex Belth for pointing me to the Hy Peskin photography collection online. Lots of good stuff here. Crazy to think that people used to actually perform athletic activities in Converse All-Stars.
Hat tip to Jonah Keri for this link — new to me, but old to the Internet — about former Net Todd MacCulloch’s new career as a competitive pinball player. Pretty amazing story.
Shaquille O’Neal is totally willing to be the Nets’ General Manager if they stay in New Jersey.
The website Mediatakeout.com quotes an “EXTREMELY CREDIBLE insider” – the capital letters are meant to underscore the source’s supposed reliability – saying “Jay-Z felt disrespected that King James did not consult with him during the free agency process.”
And Gatecrasher got a similar take from a source in Jay-Z’s camp. “Jay never expected LeBron to sign with the Nets. He knew that no 25-year-old kid with James’ profile was going to spend years in Newark,” the source tells Gatecrasher. “But he’s pissed, or at least disappointed, that LeBron didn’t consult with him.”
- Gatecrasher, N.Y. Daily News.
LeBron James: No longer YA BOYYYYYY.
They should be rewarded for the most awesome thing ever. So ominous:
