Police gave Moreno a breath test and a field sobriety test and took the former Georgia star to a detox facility. He was charged with DUI, failing to have insurance and careless driving. He is scheduled to be arraigned March 2, court records state.

The personalized license plate on the car Moreno was driving read “SAUCED,” according to KDVR-31.

- Lindsay Jones, Denver Post.

Yikes. If you’re playing at home: Knowshon Moreno was speeding through a construction zone while driving drunk in an uninsured Bentley convertible with a license plate that says “SAUCED.”

No joke I can make here is going to top the actual news there. Derek Jeter gives out post-coital giftbaskets to women he sleeps with. Dick Cheney shot a guy in the face. The man’s name is Weiner and he tweeted his penis.

Via Shutdown Corner, via Ted Burke.

Via @Section518.

The best I can come up with is an attempted sac bunt that’s accidentally popped into no-man’s land over the head of a charging infielder and goes for a base hit. Not exactly the same thing, but closest I can come up with.

Not even close for me. I don’t hate the Yankees as much as most Mets fans, but I also don’t really hate the Giants even a little. I’m ambivalent toward the Giants and I hate the Patriots, so the choice was easy.

Catsmeat is referring to this series of photos that Tom Brady for some reason posed for. And, of course, this classic. Plus maybe some of his UGG ads and a screengrab from that time he cried when considering how without football he might have been an insurance salesman.

But the answer is no. Hamels is the Internet’s clear leader* in embarrassing photos.

*- non-porn division.

The important thing to all us long-suffering Jets and Mets fans too bleary-eyed to yet see this as evidence for patience and hope is that the Patriots lost. So hooray for that.

Wild boar and bacon sausage pigs-in-the-blanket
Bacon-wrapped jalapenos stuffed with cream cheese
Macaroni and cheese with bacon
Applewood-smoked baby back ribs
Smoked brisket chili

Plus, you know, chips and stuff. We also have some collard greens and baked beans from excellent area barbecue standby Rocklands but fear not: they’re also loaded up with pork. That’s all for like six people. Tomorrow: Salad.

Her pick this year: The New York Giants.

The Bactrian camel’s prognostication skills flow from her love of graham crackers. Zoo general manager John Bergmann places a cracker and writes the name of the competing teams on each hand. Whichever hand Princess nibbles from is her pick. On Wednesday, she made her pick with no hesitation at all, predicting bad news for Bill Belichick, Tom Brady and the New England Patriots, even though the Las Vegas oddsmakers have New England favored by about 3 points.

- Wayne Parry, Associated Press.

Really? We’re still doing stuff like this? I figured it would die out with the World Cup octopus, but then I guess I frequently underestimate people’s capacity for general silliness. We are, after all, still using a groundhog to forecast the weather.

But no one actually takes Groundhog Day seriously, right? Am I to take it that anyone, when really pushed, believes Princess the Particularly Lucky Camel can successfully predict the outcome of football games better than, say, a coin toss could? I doubt it, and even if there are a few people who do I strongly doubt they read this website, but just in case:

Camels can not read. Since I have no means of communicating with camels I have no way to confirm this, but I doubt camels understand the rules of American football or even the concept of competitive sport. If you can get a camel to explain to me the distinction between roughing the kicker and running into the kicker, I might at least listen to what it had to say about the outcome of the Super Bowl. But I refuse to buy that camels can just magically, psychically see into the future, because if they could I suspect there’d be a lot more camels.

Note to random commenters: This exchange had nothing to do with Ron Paul. Please don’t make this about Ron Paul.

Hat tip to Tom Boorstein for the heads up.