You know what else might help the ‘clubhouse climate,’ as well as scoring runs and winning games? Hitting .300, 30 HR and driving in 100 RBI, consistently, and not swinging at more or less every pitch thrown towards the plate.

We have too many cellphones. We've got too many Internets. We have got to get rid of those machines. We have too many machines now... I was approached three times during the last year by Internet companies wanting to put my books [on an ereader]. I said to Yahoo, 'Prick up your ears and go to hell.'

Bradbury’s celebrating his 90th birthday this week, so we should probably forgive him if he sounds a bit like Abraham Simpson. 

An instrumental album is something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time. I have the ideas for it. I want to call it The Planets. I don’t even know if I should be saying this, but f*** it. [Laughs.] It’s just my interpretation of what each planet sounds like. I’m gonna go off on that. Just all instrumental. I’ve been studying the planets and learning the personalities of each planet. I’ve been doing this for about two years now just in my spare time so to speak. I wanna do it in surround sound. It’ll have to be in surround sound for Saturn to work.

I’ve long held that Dr. Dre is the most underrated — and perhaps the best — popular musician of the last 20 years. Not for his solo work so much as his producing. Too bad we’ll probably have to wait a decade for his Planets symphony.

My next thing is I want to write the new TV theme song for the Mets. I'm totally serious -- I have some ideas, I have to see if they like it.

I’m trying not to be star-struck. I remember when he first was in the building and I came out of the shower with my towel and walked into the locker room like everything’s cool, and then I see him. I’m like, ‘Oh my God! Okay, be cool. Should I call him LaDainian, L.T., because there’s a L.T. on the east coast already. I don’t know.’ But I just tried to play it cool.

From a Jets quote sheet. No word on why Mark Sanchez needed to tell the world he was only wearing a towel. Also, he’s like, ‘Oh my God!’

To me, that's water under the bridge. He's a great player and you can't take that away from him. He said he's sorry, it won't happen again and I'm sure he's getting tested every month. He's paid for it and I think everyone should leave him alone. There is always going to be someone in the media who brings that up. Nobody will let that go. I know his teammates and I would say a lot of fans and opponents have let it go.

Of course, I just went and brought it up. But the Daily News’ coverage of A-Rod’s 600th home run was so brutal — from the back cover reading “Congrats* (on your tainted milestone)” to Mike Lupica’s moralistic second-person screed — that I wanted to highlight the quote from Reed, the voice of reason.

It was an unfortunate incident, but I'm still going to throw pies.

"My favorite junk food would have to be Taco Bell."

Oliver Perez is rejoining the Mets because he is owed $16,918,032.79. He is rejoining the Mets in the false hope he can be rehabilitated enough that someone would trade for him and take on some of the salary. He is rejoining the Mets because of an irrational fear that if the Mets cut him loose and he signed elsewhere for the major league minimum salary and was productive, the Mets would have egg on their face.

Rubin hammers it home. Strong points throughout. For what it’s worth, Perez has been pretty decent against lefties across his career and even in small samples the last couple years, though he has (shocker) walked a ton of them this season. 

I'll just be enjoying my meal and the waitress will bring me a milk shake. Every time, I'm like, 'I didn't order a milk shake.' ... I don't get it right away, but then I remember the movie. But I never get mad; it's a f***ing free milk shake.