Look, for all I know that horse was chock full of plastic explosives, though it sure didn’t look like it from the way it blew up. I imagine some paranoid parent saw the thing and called the cops, the cops had to respond, then they showed up and saw that it was obviously just a toy horse and the conversation went something like this:

“Dude, this is obviously just a toy horse.”

“Yeah, but we came all the way out here and we’ve already got all our bomb stuff out. So we should probably blow it up.”

“Obviously.”

And let the record show, that’s precisely the type of logic I’d employ all the time if I were a cop, because if you’ve got opportunities to blow stuff up while you’re on the clock, you take them.

Excuse me: Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Blow it to smithereens.

My high school was called the Cyclones as well. I don’t know if I ever actually thought about that until right now, I guess because they started up after I was in college.

Jim Rome’s best interview since Jim Everett kicked his ass:

Epic photo. 

Stupid Wikipedia led me to believe Greg and Mo Vaughn were first cousins.

I’m going to do this sports show. It’s like a “Daily Show” for sports that they’ll put on Comedy Central. It’s supposed to be weekly. They eventually want to do it daily, but I don’t. It’s very hard to make something funny every day.

- Norm MacDonald.

Every few years someone comes out with something and says it’ll be  “the ‘Daily Show’ for sports.” And every time it happens, my former roommate Ted Burke and I get all angry about it because in college we hosted a program that very much fit that description and always dreamed about doing it on some grander scale. And we always convince ourselves that we could do a better job of it than Jay Mohr or the Sports Soup guy or whoever.

Norm MacDonald inspires no such anger from the award-winning co-hosts of “The Award Winning SaxaCenter Program.” Because that show likely would not have existed or survived without MacDonald’s massive impact on our style. I can’t speak for my former co-host, but I welcome the return of Norm MacDonald to weekly television. This man is a hero. The O.J. stuff is kinda sad to see, though, since it’s what ultimately got him canned and all.

Only for the 80% of you that get Simpsons references:

There’s a hole in my heart as deep as a well for that poor little boy stuck halfway to hell:

In which I ask a question of people who spend more time than I do in nice hotels:

I got a hot dog here at Wrigley and I forgot to take a picture of it. So here’s some video that’s a bit out of context but that contains footage of the wiener in question:

Pretty excellent hot dog, actually. I was unimpressed with the ballpark food the last time I was here and have always heard it was nothing special — which is pretty much understood when you’re at an old park like this one.

But the hot dog itself was tasty and sweet, not sweet like “sweet, man,” but actually sweet to the taste. Which, I guess, is why the guy said I shouldn’t put ketchup on it. Plus I liked the customizable nature of the thing, with the relish and hot peppers and all.

I liked the poppy-seed bun, too, though it was a touch chewier than I would have liked. Obviously you can’t expect the Shack-ago Dog from every hot dog you try in actual Chicago, but this was a decent estimation, especially considering it came at a rusty old ballpark.

I imagine I’ll do better when I get to The Wiener’s Circle everyone keeps raving about.