The Viacom celebrity machine is spectacular. Think about it: By crafting and marketing “reality” shows featuring no-names and has-beens, MTV and VH1 elevate controllable commodities under presumably exploitative contracts to unforeseen stardom, profit from them, then move on to the next crop.
It’s branched far beyond those networks, of course. And in a lot of cases, it’s a win-win. Heidi Montag’s in movies now. Kate Gosselin’s got a full-fledged reality show career.
But that’s not what this is about. This is about The Situation.
Jersey Shore is a fad, something ephemeral. It is the flavor of the month in reality shows. It will go away. We laugh at it now, or cringe, or revel in its stupidity. We’ll do the same with the next one.
The Situation will last, because The Situation is the greatest nickname of all-time. We sit here at our computers and make jokes about this kid, but we’re all jealous that this little punk thought to call himself that and we didn’t. Admit it.
The Situation is to Jersey Shore what He Hate Me was to the XFL.
I remember so few details of that league now, but Rod Smart’s self-granted moniker has left an indelible mark upon pop culture forever. He Hate Me. I’m still not even clear on what that means, but I know Spike Lee made a movie called She Hate Me. I guarantee there’s a similar ripple effect from The Situation.
The Situation! The gravity of it!
It’s so foreboding, and yet not necessarily damning. It’s not The Catastrophe or The Predicament or The Dilemma. It’s just The Situation.
And the fact that The Situation is just some kid from Staten Island named Michael Sorrentino? That makes it 100 time more hilarious, of course. And that The Situation also apparently refers to his six pack? Exponentially funnier.
Michael Sorrentino has taught me two things, for certain: First, the definite article needs more play in nicknames. I know it’s been said many times, but today’s sports nicknames are largely unoriginal. F-Mart? Jay-Hey? B.S. Let’s start with “The” and work from there. I guarantee they get better. There’s a reason “The Franchise” has such a nice ring to it.
Second, I don’t think I’ll ever again, in my life, hear someone describe “the situation” without giggling. Alex Remington’s doing this awesome series for Yahoo! Sports, but one of his subheads renders me incapable of taking it entirely seriously.
That’s The Situation now, I guess.
Tedquarters 
oooh, all good points until that last sentence and then… um… yeah…
Yeah I was rushing out because I was really hoping to catch the 5:27 train so I could be home and not walking in the rain during that radio spot. If it makes a difference, I didn’t, and now I’m on the 5:46 like a shmo.
ah, well in the spirit of shadenfreude, all is forgiven.
Similar idea in a different language: EL INFIERNO.
My one goal for 2010 is for the nickname EL INFIERNO to stick for Josh Thole.
I like that. He’s an intense dude.
And he threw out the first pitch at the Mets game too.
For all the negativity it got, I though Jersey Shore was hilarious. I’m from NJ, I’m italian (not a guido though), and I’ve spent summers at the Jersey Shore, and I wasnt one bit offended by anything on that show.
Truth is, that in certian areas of the NJ shore, that really is what its like. These kids really werent acting over the top, justto fit the stereotype for the show, thats how alot of people are. They fit right in with the typical guido crowd at the shore. Making fun of guidos was a big part of the fun my friends and I had at the shore.
Believe me, we at Yahoo! Sports are not unaware of the awesome comedic potential of the use of the word “Situation.” It is the best.
Phew.